Coffee + biking = eventually only biking

I usually drive my UAB to work instead of my car which stays parked in the lot.

So this morning, I decided to test a new capability: Riding my bike to work while drinking my morning coffee.

I left my apartment, got on my bike, and rode down the sidewalk while enjoying my delicious coffee. As I approached the intersection, a woman walked down the handicap ramp. Instead of stopping and waiting for her to pass, I decided to drive off the curb. I thought it wouldn't be a problem because I am an experienced biker driving a top shelf UAB. I slowed down to a crawl (which turns out to have been a mistake) and headed off the curb with one hand holding the handlebar and one hand holding the coffee. When the front wheel met the street and stopped, I instantly recognized that I had made a miscalculation. The front wheel stopped and I lost control. In a millisecond, I decided to discard the coffee, and did so, although some found a way to my shirt. I then realized that the bike would not continue forward no matter what I did, so I then decided to focus on staying upright myself.

It worked. I didn't go down, I stayed on my feet. So, technically, no crash, right?

The UAB made a catastrophic Newtonian descent to the ground. Along the way, the handle bar apparently caught the cuff of my shirt producing the attached picture.

So I went through the work day in a coffee stained shirt torn to rags. But any wreck you can walk away from is a good one, right? And the shirt that was ruined was the oldest dress shirt I have, which I was considering getting rid of anyway. And Grandmom would be happy that I was wearing a helmet.